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Start Your Day....With A Record (3)

More Sillyness To Brighten Your Day/Night up..

N.D.T (NORTHERN DANCER TONIC)

Can't dance?
Keep forgetting your steps?
Hopeless at spins and backdrops?
Fed up of sitting on the sidelines while your mates are OUT ON THE FLOOR?

With new N.D.T in your system, it will have you moving like NEVER before! With one swig you'll amaze your buddies with your fancy moves, splits and backdrops (even win dance competitions with it) One bottle should last you for at least 5 allnighters (That's around 40 hours solid DANCING!)
N.D.T gives you PERFORMANCE...
N.D.T gives you RESULTS FAST...
N.D.T gives you SATISFACTION...

BLIMEY! they've heard that Wigan Casino is opening back up!

NEW SOULERS CRISPS

The great new soul snack to eat on your way to the soul venue. Each Souler crisp is record shaped, simply bite and LISTEN! Yes LISTEN to the sounds from each packet of Soulers specially formated to play a tune when you BITE into them! 36 carefully counted record crisps in each packet (lots of rarities) 3 great soulful flavours to collect! Soul & Onion, Soul & Chicken & Soul & Vinyl. Swop them with your friends too. SOULERS CRISPS...THE GREAT TASTE OF SOUL MUSIC IN YOUR MOUTH! CRUNCH AND LISTEN! Mmmmmm...THEY'RE GREAT!

Looks like they've all got the clap?

"You're gonna love my baby"

"Batman at the go-go"

Well what did you think it was??

"I second that emotion"

AMAZING SOUL FINGER

When your browsing 45s at record fairs, don't you wish you could just FLICK through records faster than the next collector? Well now you CAN! with the amazing SOUL FINGER! A device that simply fits on the end of your own fingers and makes you flick FIVE TIMES FASTER than the average collector. Get through box after box of 45s in just seconds, the collector next to you will be amazed at the speed you go through them and you'll simply leave him standing! Find all the bargains before everyone else which means you'll PICK UP so many rare records with it! Powered by 2 small batteries hidden near the wrist, it's simply unbelievable and there's no competition with.... THE SOUL FINGER!!

If only life was that simple...

Snack tray made from vinyl

DJ LINE UP:

MAIN ROOM:
Fishy Gillmore
Johnny Haddock
Seamore Pike
Ray Sting
Barry Cuda

MODERN ROOM:
Crabby Paste
Willie Whelk
Cher Hark
Colin Cod
Dolike Plaice

"FFFAAARRRRRRPP"
MAAAN THAT SURE IS BETTER OUT!

COME TO THE DOLPHIN CITY ALL-NIGHTER - WHERE THE SOUNDS BUBBLE!

The Wall Of Sound!

Looks a bit dusty Dusty...

So What's it gonna be then Martha?

"I need an (LP)ing hand"

"AAARRRRRGH"
I've just broke two SHRINE records!

See...even McDonalds like the taste of Northern Soul..

"The beating of my lonely heart"

Take note ebayers...

"Lovin' is really my game"

Well Suzy...I went to, Wigan, Blackpool Mecca, The Wheel, Stafford and...

Oh, if ONLY I could have gone to the Casino..

Man arranging his balls...

Man playing with his balls...

"I got the fever"

Just what you need for handling those dirty old records!

"My own two feet"

AMAZING REJOIN TAPE

Once I had a record collection and it was THIS BIG!

"Just like a yo-yo"

Look after your grandparents...

UP YOURS TOO MATE!

Got some cracked vinyl?
Can't play a 45 because it's split?

Well NOW YOU CAN! With a special
dissolving black tape which after applied, simply becomes... INVISIBLE! Carefully tape up the crack and the special REJOIN tape simply fades into the vinyl and seals after just 30 SECONDS! You'll never have to throw away cracked records again, because REJOIN is your friend and will do the trick in no time!
BOND WITH REJOIN!

Ahhh...the pleasures of life!

"Sliced Tomatoes"

"Stick(y) by me baby"

(M)y(O)wn(T)houghts(O)f(W)igan..(N)ice

"Would you believe"

Click on the pic: to go to a fascinating website!

S.S.P's
(SOLE SPIN PADS)

P.A.B (PERSONAL ALLNIGHTER BAG)

Even the king had his moments...

Simply slip a S.S.P into each shoe and watch yourself GO! Guaranteed to make you spin at least 10 rotations or your money back! They're comfortable and come in small, medium and large and made from a secret melted down vinyl potion to give you more spin. As soon as you put them in, you'll certainly get some 'Sole in those old shoes'... You'll never be on your knees with your S.S.P's! SO GET ON THAT FLOOR!

IMPORTANT NEWS...

A large number of prehistoric feet have recently been unearthed from the old grounds of Wigan Casino and they are all thought to have been possibly from a tribe of male dancers from around 20,000,000 years ago! Soul gurus are checking the condition of the feet, to see if they were capable of spins and back drops all those years ago? WATCH THIS SPACE..

No friends?
Like your own company?
You'd love to go to allnighters but lack confidence?

DON'T DESPAIR! Now you can hold your OWN allnighter in the comfort of your own home! Simply climb inside your P.A.B with your stereo & some sounds, zip up and DJ! No need to even turn the lights out, simply stick your head down and zip shut! It's even remote controlled to let yourself out and comes with an inside panic button. No more excuses for being alone again. GREAT FOR LONELY PEOPLE!

"I can feel the pain"

"What shall I do?"

Fancy an allnighter tonight darling? I can get you some gere..

"Nothing can compare to you"

"You get your kicks"

"I've got my eyes on you"

You have vistors...your husband drops a 'stinker' what do you do? Do you:

(A)Tell him to go outside and shake himself.
(B)Pretend you haven't noticed and sit there with a peg on your nose.
(C)Put the fan on full and open every window in the house.
(D)Offer everyone a fishermans friend quick to try and disquise it.
(E)Tell him stright away he stinks and show him the door.
Now you don't have to do ANY of these with new BULLSHIT SPRAY! It's the new odour free fart spray that disguises wiffy farty smells and pongs. ONE SPRAY AND IT'S GONE! (till next time anyway..)

"She just sits there"

Now I know why I never wore glasses!

ROUND BLACK RECORD WIGS

Get your Round 'Black Record Wigs' today! Just £4.99 plus P&P and BLEND in with 'IN-CROWD'. Made from actual melted down records & set in a mould to look authentic, so your actually WEARING MUSIC on your head! You can even hide your small belongings inside it (phone/ cigarettes/pet hamster etc..) They look great don't they..Get yours NOW!

Piczo